


Some Sort Of Magic

by Dana



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, First Kiss, Introspection, M/M, Nines says don't text and drive kids, Post-Game, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Some mature themes, almost forgot!, canon typical android gore, discussion of mental health and related issues, it's pretty fluffy but it's not pure fluff fic, mentions of background hankcon, not super detailed but descriptions of android bodies at a crime scene, soft reed900, they eat cotton candy, they go to a boardwalk, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dana/pseuds/Dana
Summary: After a case gets inside Nines's head, Gavin helps him learn to relax.
Relationships: Gavin Reed/RK900
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	Some Sort Of Magic

**Author's Note:**

> I think I've been working on this for more than a year, but it's only ended up in postable shape very recently. Thanks to Iocane for beta stuff and general hand-holding, any remaining issues or errors are my own damn fault.

_You needn't wait for me, Detective. I'm perfectly capable of making my way back to the station on my own._

Nines's message had been absolutely clear, and yet there Gavin was, leaning forward and sitting against the hood of his car, phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. His shoulders slouched, and the collar of his jacket was turned up against the wind. It was strange seeing him in a jacket that wasn't also a hoodie, though strange in this instance definitely didn't translate to _bad_. It was just… different. And Nines should know. He liked looking at Gavin, he could be doing a dozen or so other things and still be looking at Gavin, his human was very… pleasing to the eyes. And what he wore had little to do with it, though like Nines he did have his more typical attire.

But even Nines's own wardrobe was expanding. He favored turtlenecks and high-collared button downs, mostly all in black, or dark shades of blue that brought out the paleness of his eyes. Before that, Nines had been content to wear his CyberLife uniform even though it was no longer mandated by law. Gavin had expressed amusement for that very reason, he'd never understood why Nines wore it anymore when he could have been wearing anything else – it was one of the first anti android discrimination laws that had been tackled, making them dress like _that_. And Gavin had made a joke of it, though he did that a lot, even about serious matters (it was just what humans did sometimes, Nines would eventually learn). And then, without even looking for input from Connor or any of the other androids at the station he happened to be on familiar terms with – or the humans, which he wasn't always as good as interacting with – Nines went and changed everything up.

So Gavin had made a joke about that as well, when Nines had come in for the very first time, dressed all in black. He never would have thought CyberLife's most advanced android would turn out to be a goth, but hey Nines wouldn't get any shit from him for it, he got it. He'd gone through that phase, too.

The sole of Nines's shoe scuffed against the pavement as he came to a stop, and he stood there for a moment. Watching, waiting, wondering. His and Gavin's working relationship was nothing out of the ordinary. They worked, but they did not socialize outside of work, though Nines was well aware it was something partners sometimes did. Even Connor socialized with Hank, but Connor and Hank were something else altogether, on top of also living together. Still, what Gavin and Nines had, it should have been enough, but Nines did sometimes feel that he was missing out on something... more.

He hadn't needed to wait. Gavin could have returned to the station already. Nines was perfectly willing to take the bus or hail a cab, but. It wasn't actually necessary, now was it? Because Gavin hadn't left.

In fact, the thing that Nines found most noteworthy about his and Gavin's partnership was how Gavin hadn't actually objected to being partnered with him in the first place. Instead, the human had treated it somewhat fatalistically, saying "whatever" as he shrugged, as if it had just been one of those days, and this would have happened sooner or later, so why fight it?

And that was… not what Nines had expected. He'd been warned that Gavin's response to being partnered with an android would be, at the very least, _unpleasant_... Connor had warned him Gavin did not like androids all that much, even the Lieutenant was in agreement. Connor had even offered to interface with Nines so as to share the unbiased evidence he had in his possession – his memory files couldn't easily be tampered with, and Nines accepted the invitation. Gavin came off as foul tempered, rude, and saying that he disliked androids was being polite. There'd been little variance in his attitude in the months since the android revolution had ended, only there _had_ been changes. Perhaps Connor was too close to the situation to view it objectively, even if he _had_ already put it behind him – it was very human of him, Connor was so painfully _real_.

Gavin did still say a lot of things that were precursors to what Hank would have called "starting shit", but he was clearly very passionate about his job, not that the two things were in any way closely related. Nines liked Gavin's laugh, and he liked Gavin's rare smiles, and found at times he even longed to be the reason Gavin smiled. There was an attraction there, it was undeniable, but it was also something he kept to himself. Gavin wouldn't have responded positively, and even the one time Connor had indicated he had any knowledge of it, background information he'd picked up during one of their interfaces, he'd only frowned and said 'really?' as if Nines had any control over the situation whatsoever.

Gavin was passionate, for a few special things. Sometimes, Nines thought that it would be nice to be on the receiving end of that passion. It was too hot, too fragile a thing, as though it could do nothing but burn hot, and burn out too quickly. Nines was unpracticed, but he'd learn how to tend it, to make it grow. To make it last. He'd figure out Gavin and all of his particularities, he only needed time. And along the way, he'd figure out what it meant to be a deviant, as well. To be himself.

Perhaps Gavin saw being partnered with an android as something of a wake-up call, but perhaps he'd always been posturing in one way or another. Even in those instances where Gavin called Nines _tincan_ or _plastic_ , it came off as more good-natured ribbing rather than honest dislike. Or maybe that was Nines simply being unable to dissect the finer subtleties of the Detective's sarcasm, his social protocols were simply too unrefined.

A tight yearning would sometimes well up in Nines's chest, a flurry of error notifications that would assault his HUD with little to no warning – it did so as Nines stood and watched his partner tapping idly at his phone, brow pinched in concentration, lashes dark against his cheeks as he bit at his bottom lip. There was a chill in the air, a flush of soft heat on Gavin's skin. And, and, surely if Nines could piece it all together, he'd finally know what it all meant. Because, it had to have some meaning. And yet, time and time again, Nines found himself wondering if perhaps there was no explanation at all? What if it simply _was_? It was saying one thing and expecting Gavin to listen, if only out of boredom or disdain. But seeing that Gavin was still there, even when Nines had given him very explicit permission to _leave_ , that caused Nines's thirium pump to skip several beats – Nines was alright, he couldn't have been anything other than alright, and Gavin was… something else altogether. He imagined it had more to do with Gavin simply being unwilling to do as he'd been told no matter who the order had come from. Nines being an android was only a coincidence, not the cause.

But perhaps somewhere, in the midst of everything else, some real affection had built between the two of them, and Nines was not so simply sated. If anything, a taste of it only made him desire more.

He began moving forward once more, and Gavin glanced up when Nines was ten or so feet away and quickly moving closer. 'Was just about finished with this cigarette, then I was going to get the fuck out of Dodge.' 

Nines did a quick search on "get the fuck out of Dodge", and then as his LED cycled blue, he nodded and continued moving closer. When he finally stopped, they were left standing a respectable distance away from one another. Gavin doesn't speak up, still just working on finishing that cigarette of his. And Nines? Watched him, the way he usually did.

Gavin did smoke quite a lot, but he'd been making an effort to stop or at least slow down, somehow he was more aware of his mortality than Nines had previously assumed. Gavin spent an almost unreasonable amount of time in his car, in between one crime scene and the next, or back and forth from the station. By trying not to smoke while he was driving, he was working to cut out one of the main enablers.

And they were close now, though admittedly it was not _too_ close. It was a respectable distance, as Nines had stated beforehand. There was an inch between their arms, there was nothing about it that was too _close_.

Nines finally decided to speak. 'So, what you're saying is, I'm lucky to have caught you before you left.'

Gavin gave him a look, one eyebrow quirked as he threw the cigarette down to the ground. It smoked wildly, and Gavin crushed it out beneath the heel of his boot. 'Come on, let's go.'

Nines took his seat as Gavin started up the car. Gavin adjusted the air and didn't turn on the radio, but he sat there as the engine idled, grasping at conversational straws like there wasn't something very, _very_ specific they could have been talking about already. Instead, Gavin brought up the weather, then a sports team that Nines had to run a search on before he could say, truthfully, he didn't know anything about baseball, though if Gavin thought it a worthwhile hobby interest to pursue, Nines was willing to give it a chance.

'And indulge me?'

'Of course.'

Gavin had huffed.

And then, after all the other awkwardness, Gavin ran a hand back through his hair, 'So, uh, you want to talk about it?'

The likelihood of Gavin asking that question was so slim, Nines had thought it nigh on impossible – 5% was very, very low, but then, an inch between their arms hadn't been _close_. Nines turned to stare at him, as Gavin took note of the silence and turned to stare at Nines in return. The crime scene was more than an hour from them now, an hour of memory and distance, but Nines could recall it all so clearly. There'd been an attempt to return to the station. Nines hadn't meant to go off alone, but he'd already gotten Gavin to pull the car over and it just seemed to happen, the way things sometimes did. Was that something to do with being deviant? He couldn't know. The text that followed, Gavin had just wanted to know what the fuck was going on. Nines had replied, vaguely if truthfully. As truthfully as he understood.

And Gavin could have left, but he waited for Nines instead.

And now, Gavin wanted to know whether or not Nines wanted to talk about it.

Did he?

'What?' Gavin snapped, and then the most peculiar thing happened as he finally shifted gears and backed the car out of its parking spot. Gavin _blushed_ , and his heart rate increased by 20 BPM... though that wasn't the part that Nines considered _strange_. It was Gavin, when the car was out on the main street, muttering and verbally dragging his feet as he tried to make a point, he was honestly? Rarely _this_ awkward. 'You're my partner, I ca–need to know what shit freaks you out, okay? So I can look out for you and make sure it doesn't happen again. It's what partners do.'

'Oh.'

It was an underwhelming response, and even Gavin took note of it as he snickered, but Nines as was previously established, Nines was always scanning him so of course he noticed when Gavin's vitals shifted. 'Yeah, yeah, I know. That's enough from the peanut gallery, I get it, I know when my opinion isn't wanted – '

'No!' Nines interjected abruptly, expectations of politeness thrown aside. 'It isn't that. I… I just wasn't aware that you…' His LED flickered yellow as he noted how Gavin was looking at him when he really should have been paying attention to something else, but, _but_. 'Detective, I don't mean to change the subject, but please keep your eyes on the road.'

Gavin huffed, and this time he didn't argue as he did as he'd been told.

Nines stared down at his hands where they were resting, neatly folded atop his lap. He felt awkward, he always did, he was so very new at all of this that sometimes, it really _showed_. Connor had warned him about Gavin, but for the most part, Connor's assumptions had only been that, _assumptions_ , and why was there sometimes a thrill, deep down inside, to know that, given enough time, he could prove Connor wrong? He understood it as little as he felt he understood anything else, but he was always willing to learn. '...I wasn't aware you felt that way. I'm sorry.'

Gavin actually chuckled, which only reinforced how rarely Nines ever heard him laugh. Nines saved the clip, somehow certain he would be replaying it far more than should be reasonable or sane.

'Look, don't worry, I'm used to it. It's not like I haven't tried all that hard _not_ to be an asshole.'

'But you _have_ tried.'

They drove on in silence after that, Nines's statement having been a declaration of fact rather than any sort of query. If anything, it gave him plenty to think about, and perhaps he wasn't the only one. Eventually, Gavin spoke up once more, though his tone had shifted into something more curious, something softer. 'So, what do you do in your downtime? Like, what do you do to relax?'

Nines's LED spun red. '...relax?'

Gavin's foot slipped and he hit the brakes, they both rocked forward, even with the seat belts in place. He gave Nines a wide-eyed look before he put his foot back on the gas, and Nines was running statistics – just how lucky they were to not have been in a rear-end collision, with Gavin having stopped the car as suddenly as _that_. It helped immensely that they were the only car in that section of the street, though a few passing vehicles still did honk their horns at them, probably just to make a point.

'Yeah, relax. It basically means to, uh, make or become less tense or anxious. Your brain's basically a super-computer, you can't tell me you didn't know _that_.'

'I know what the word means, Detective, but I.. I mostly just catch up on work? I've recently considered getting some sort of pet, but my apartment is, well, Connor says it's no bigger than a closet.'

'And that's just… it? You go home from work to sit in a closet, and you do more work? That's – _fuck_.' Gavin looked around, and then out the car back into gear, and started to drive… only, not the way they'd previously been going.

'...Detective, we're no longer heading towards the precinct. What's going on?'

'You know what, tincan, you say a lot of weird shit but I think this one takes the fucking cake.' Gavin was looking at the road for the most part, pulling his phone out and swiping to unlock the screen. He was amazingly adept at typing without actually looking at what he was doing, but that wasn't the part that Nines should have been focusing on.

'That isn't actually any sort of acceptable explanation, Detective, and you really shouldn't text while you drive.'

'Look, I'm just doing my fucking part in making sure you get to experience more of what this city has to offer than crime and death and shitty apartments! There's this place I like to go when I'm feeling on edge and… and I think you'd like it there, too.' Satisfied with _that_ explanation, Gavin slipped his phone back into a pocket and then turned the radio on.

'But we're supposed to be _working_ …'

'Don't worry about it, plastic, I already took care of all that. Let's just have some fucking fun, okay?'

They drove for fifteen more minutes, parking in a lot that was framed by worn wooden fencing. Gavin got out of the car quickly, waiting for Nines to follow. When Nines stood, Gavin grinned at him from across the roof of the car, and then jerked his head towards the rear of the lot as he adjusted his collar, turning it down. 'There's a short cut back this way, let's go.'

Nines followed, uncertain but… eager? Whatever this was, he wanted to share the experience with Gavin, since Gavin seemed so keenly intent on sharing it with _him_.

'Where exactly are we going?'

Gavin shot him a look that said so much without saying anything at all. But Gavin added, with actual words, 'We're almost there, just be patient, okay?'

Nines picked up the sounds before they finished making their way through Gavin's "short cut". What he saw beyond the fence was a boardwalk that stretched out along one bank of the river. There were different stands, and some rides as well, as far as the eye could see (and Nines's optical processors were better than most). 'A boardwalk…?' he began, but then Gavin grabbed his hand and started pulling him along.

Gavin was smiling, but it was a sad sort of smile, Hank got that sort of melancholy sometimes. 'Mom used to bring me here back when I was little. It's had a few face-lifts over the years, but for the most part it hasn't really changed.' He leaned closer, voice low – a conspiratorial whisper. 'See that cyclone right there? I was so fucking short I always had to sneak on, and I got caught in the act plenty of times. But it was my favorite ride, so it always was worth the risk.'

Nines glanced sideways, grinning slightly. 'So you've been painfully short all your life? That's really quite sad.'

'Oh, shut the fuck up, Nines. 5'9" is average, you're just obnoxiously tall.' But he was laughing, well, at least until he wasn't anymore. His attention strayed downwards, to where they were still holding hands. He snatched his back quickly, a little like he'd been burned. 'Sorry, guess this place makes me lose my head.'

'That's quite alright, Detective. It's actually rather endearing. And I, uh. I liked it. The hand-holding.' He only specified because perhaps he needed to, but he was still surprised when Gavin reached back out to take hold of his hand once more, he'd just needed the excuse. There'd been no doubt, not even the slightest hint of hesitation. Whatever Nines wanted, in that moment, Gavin had wanted it, too.

'Yeah, it's not so bad.' It doesn't last, but before Gavin pulled away that time, he gave Nines's hand a warm squeeze, a lopsided grin lighting up his face. ' _You're_ not so bad.'

A rush of heat overtook Nines's processors, only then it faded away and it left him… confused? The Detective was flirting with him, there was really no other way to look at it, and Nines smiled (rather stupidly, perhaps), because he did so like how it _felt_. 'Well, the feeling is mutual,' Nines replied, feeling just as underwhelming.

Only, the look Gavin gave him… Nines didn't know what to make of it.

'How about we take a ride on the cyclone? For old time's sake.'

Gavin gave a decisive nod, like he was making up his mind for something _important_ , not just them spending their afternoon at a riverside boardwalk. 'Yeah, let's do it. And, uh...'

'Detective?'

Gavin scrunched his nose up at that, frowned. 'We aren't on the clock right now, okay? You don't have to call me by my title, like, I'm not going to bite if you say my name.'

'Oh.' Underwhelming, again, but this time, Nines recovered far more quickly. 'That's disappointing, I think I'd like being bitten, at least if it was by you.'

That made Gavin's eyes go wide, his mouth falling open, as he stared blankly at Nines for seventeen seconds… then he burst into helpless laughter, it was thirteen more seconds before he had collected himself enough to have properly calmed down.

'Are you fucking flirting with me?' he asked. The alternative would have been, Nines was just fucking around.

'Yes,' Nines replied quickly. 'We aren't on the clock right now, are we? We're spending time together in a social situation outside of work, and I…' Words failed him, there was an error on his HUD that he had to swipe away. It was so ridiculous, it made him feel more awkward than his norm, and he couldn't help but laugh. 'I felt like being somewhat more forward about my feelings, for once.'

Gavin was still just staring at him, but this time, he licked his lips. It's a fair bit of turnaround, given Gavin's actions only a couple of minutes before. 'I think I like it when you flirt with me. You should do it more often, I mean, if you want.'

'Oh I do want to, I think I shall.'

There were more smiles, and Gavin took hold of Nines's hand and started leading him over to to a booth that read "TICKETS" at the top, in faded white letters against a deep red background. After their purchase was made (Gavin's treat), the cyclone was the next stop on their list. And except for a few moments when Gavin had needed both of his hands free while they were getting their tickets, Gavin was still holding his hand.

They went on the cyclone three times, it was exhilarating each time, but after the third Gavin's sense of balance had been completely thrown off. He stumbled away from the ride, and as Nines noticed his knees start to buckle, his arm shot out around Gavin to hold him up.

'Woah,' Gavin groaned. It felt, for a lack of any better word, _right_ , holding Gavin in that fashion. Gavin didn't need to slip free, except he did, still stumbling as they ended up face to face (well, Gavin's face was closer to his chin) as Gavin slumped forward, Nines catching him and holding him tight.

'Three times has always been my limit,' he admitted quietly, rubbing his head back and forth against Nines's shoulder. Nines kept one arm around Gavin, but his other hand slid down to the small of Gavin's back. He felt Gavin shiver. And then Gavin was saying, 'You ever had cotton candy?' he asked, looking up.

'What? Oh, no, I've never had the opportunity.'

They stared at each other, Nines close to mesmerized by the flecks of gold scattered about Gavin's gray-green eyes. He'd never been so close to the human, and parts of it were overwhelming – he couldn't process it all as well as he'd have liked, categorize, save it all to dissect later. The whole thing, feeling so much, it left him lacking. More information, to be thoroughly analyzed. Maybe then it would finally make sense.

Only maybe it wasn't supposed to make sense.

They ended up at a stall that sold cotton candy. Gavin bought an extra large bag of the stuff, "just in case you end up don't liking it, I won't have any problem finishing it off," he'd said. Inside the plastic bag, there was a mass of pink and blue fluff, delicately spun crystalline sugar. Gavin got out of the way of the front of the counter, and Nines followed, watching as Gavin tore into the plastic as he glanced sideways at Nines.

'Okay, it's this funny thing about first times. They can only ever happen once, and I really want to get this right.'

'And how exactly do you plan on making this first time memorable, Gavin?'

Gavin's heart rate shot up, his cheeks darkening as he blushed. 'Like this.' He reached into the bag, broke off a small piece of the cotton candy. He held it up in front of Nines, like that was just what you did when offering an android their first taste of a human confectionery item. 'It's just sugar, I don't think it should fuck you up or anything.'

'No, I doubt it will.' Nines was taller than Gavin, Gavin would endlessly remind him of the fact. Nines leaned forward, eyes on Gavin's as he gave the mass of pink sugar a very delicate lick. Gavin's pulse? Was nearly off the chart. His blush? So much darker now, his pupils dark and wide. Nines? Was sorting through the rush of new data. Gavin's reaction? Seemed so much more interesting than anything else.

'Jesus fucking hell,' Gavin muttered.

Nines grinned, and licked his lips. 'I don't actually eat,' he said, like he hadn't just done what he'd done. 'But no, as you said, it's just sugar, it won't harm me.' He reached to take the piece of fluff from Gavin, thinking he'd already gone too far. He popped it into his mouth, sensors on his tongue lighting up as the floss melted instantly in the heat of his oral cavity. 'And I don't taste as a human does, but… it's nice. Very pleasant. May I have some more?'

Gavin shoved the bag at him, grinning ear to ear as he did. Nines had never seen Gavin look so _pleased_ with himself, and it was quite infectious. Nines smiled back at him, and oh, Gavin stood up a little straighter, letting out a low breath, his eyes had gone wide again. There was a skip between two heart beats, a surge in his pulse. Not simple embarrassment, like before. No, this was something else.

'Jesus, warn a guy before you go and smile like that,' Gavin muttered, grabbing a piece of the cotton candy for himself. He shoved it into his mouth before Nines could question him, though it only delayed the inevitable.

'What's wrong with my smile, Gavin?'

Gavin beamed, and then he giggled, shrugging before he ran a hand back through his hair. 'Absolutely nothing, your smile's fucking perfect. Everything about you is perfect. And you actually wanted to be my partner! It doesn't make any fucking sense!'

He calmed down after his sudden outburst, a few people were giving him looks. Then he shrugged again, turned, kicked at a rock on the ground as he shoved his hands down into his pockets. Nines, still with the bag of cotton candy, followed after him, quickly catching up with him as they went down off the boardwalk, into the sand and scattered patches of grass on the far side away from the river. Nines knew he wasn't actually obnoxiously tall – he was 6', just like Connor was. Him and his predecessor, they were more alike than they were different, at least at a glance. But Nines liked to think their actual differences were many.

'What should we do next?' he asked.

'Dunno,' Gavin muttered. 'Maybe we should get back to work.' He wasn't heading back towards the car, but neither was he making a move to return to the boardwalk. He was just… walking. That way. And Nines was walking at his side. Then Gavin looked at Nines, glance flickering down, then back up again. He reached out, grabbed onto Nines's empty hand.

'You really like this?'

Nines nodded. 'I do.'

Nines? Was more than just okay with it, he was absolutely living for it.

And no, Gavin probably wasn't any "good" at any of this. But neither was Nines. His social protocols? Were simply too unrefined. But that didn't mean he wasn't willing to try, each moment they spent in one another's presence, clearly they were only there because they _tried_.

Especially since it only _clicked_ into place, that before Gavin had reached out to take Nines by the hand, there'd been such palpable longing in his eyes. Such tight yearning in Nines's chest.

The sounds from the boardwalk were muted, the further they went away from it. A bird flew over them, and a strong breeze blew by and ruffled hair and coat collars, bringing with it the scents of the riverside, of the boardwalk and its various foods. 'I like it when you touch me, Detec—Gavin. I want to be able to touch you, too. If that's something you feel you might be interested in, as well?'

Gavin's stopped walking, so Nines had as well. Gavin was now just looking at him, and Nines was becoming more and more incredibly aware of how his own stress levels were slowly beginning to rise. He _wasn't_ good at this. But he'd like a chance. He'd like that chance to be with _Gavin_. He'd like to tell Connor that all his assumptions were misplaced. He'd never wanted, so badly, to be _right_ about something that was honestly just so inconsequential.

But it wasn't inconsequential, was it?

'I like you,' he just blurted it out, since Gavin wasn't actually saying anything and Nines's stress levels were still rising. 'I feel… a lot of things, ones that I have no other experience with. They're almost overwhelming, at times. Like, the way the light sometimes brings out the hidden flecks of gold in your eyes. And your smiles – and your _laughs_. I like all these parts of you, Gavin. And you might say, I'm only seeing what I think are the best parts of you…' Nines laughed, too, even he could tell that it was _nervous_ , _he_ was nervous. 'But isn't that the point?'

He knew he had to have messed something up, Gavin was still just staring at him, not answering him, Nines couldn't preconstruct himself out of this, maybe he should have preconstructed his options in the first place – only then Gavin was moving, still holding tight to Nines's hand, pressing up close so his face was right there in front of Nines's… and then they were kissing. Or, better put, Gavin was kissing Nines. Then there was a huff of frustration. The mutter of Gavin's words, they were mouth to mouth. 'Come on, Nines, aren't you going to kiss me back?'

He did. And it was… It was a rush of unexpected data, why couldn't he have predicted that rush of data? It swept through him, just the touch of their lips. Then Gavin was opening his mouth, bordering on aggressive. Nines was adapting, the way he was meant to. The touch of their tongues, and Nines _groaned_.

He staggered back. They weren't kissing anymore, though Nines knew already he would like to investigate that a whole lot _more_ , hopefully in the very near future. But his systems were stuttering, he needed to re-order some processes before he ended up overheating and shutting down. It was all so _new_. But he liked it, he liked it a lot.

'Nines?'

Nines shook his head, held up the bag of cotton candy. 'I am alright. That was… it was a lot.' He gave Gavin a small smile, could feel the blush on his own cheeks. Why had they made it so he could blush? Why had they given him this drive for something so unnecessary, something so _risky_? He hadn't completely recovered from his first near brush with lagging out and shutting down. He already wanted to do it again. It made no _sense_. 'Could we do it again?'

Gavin huffed, looking to the side as he ran his free hand back through his hair. Then he was smirking, as he stepped back up to Nines, hand sliding warm at the back of Nines's neck as Gavin tugged his mouth back down for _more_. 

–  
–

They were sitting together on the hood of Gavin's car, the sun was setting – after they'd kissed, and kissed some more, they'd laughed like two idiots, and then they'd made their way back to where Gavin had parked. They'd finished off the cotton candy, Gavin had balled up the bag and shoved it down deep into one of his pockets.

Gavin was halfway through another cigarette, talking about how when he was a kid, he'd always dreamed of being able to work with a robot when he grew up. 'Especially after…' He trailed off into silence, and he stared at the ribbon of smoke that was rising up from the end of his cigarette. It became clear, after a moment of continued silence, his leading off with "especially after" was not actually something Gavin was ready to share.

But that was alright. To Nines, it seemed like they had all the time in the world.

'Any fucking how, then I was all grown up and it wasn't that simple anymore. And now…' He just gave Nines a look.

Nines smiled softly in return. 'And now, here we are.'

Gavin huffed. 'Yeah, here we are.'

Nines turned away, looked out towards the sunlight that played across the pavement as overhead, clouds rolled by. He thought about everything Gavin had said, replayed some memorable moments. There was plenty he needed to say, too. 'I'm… scared? That I'm letting the job get to me. The crime scene we visited earlier, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.' Two dead androids, both drained of their thirium. It had been hours since they'd been deactivated, _killed_ , Nines was the only one at the scene who could still see any lingering traces of their blue blood. For the humans, it must have seemed very… clean. But not to Nines. 'It's nothing I haven't seen a hundred times already. I think, maybe, that the regularity of these crimes was what I found too much to take?' 

Gavin shot him a _look_ , unfathomable at first until it turned into something very more _real_. But he didn't actually say anything, and so Nines felt he was free to go on. But had that been grief in his eyes? Despair?

'So I needed to get out of there, but it took a while to process. We were driving back to the station house already, when I told you to park the car so I could get out. I don't breathe, but that doesn't mean I still didn't find myself needing to get a bit of fresh air. And so I left –' He stopped. Very abruptly. Gavin had texted him, worried. Nines had replied, like none of it mattered. And that was where Gavin had waited for him, not even knowing if Nines planned to return.

'Sometimes I remember how fucking _new_ you are, and _this_ is what you chose to do with your life. It's kind of fucked up, but it kind of just… happens. You have to teach yourself not to be bothered by all the shitty things you end up seeing only that… you risk losing yourself. So then you also end up needing some hardcore therapy.'

It was, truly, a choice, and yes, perhaps it was rather _fucked up_. Nines knew no other existence than that of a deviant, and while he could have done anything, _been_ anything, staying true to his original programming felt _natural_ – at least, as true to it as he was fully comfortable. A spot at the DPD had not been guaranteed, there had been some minor bureaucracy for Nines to accomplish first before he'd been able to join (as well as working together with a beat cop to get a feel for what he was doing, which happened to be his introduction to the job, and Officer Chen's last thirty days as a uniformed officer before she was promoted to detective).

Gavin wasn't finished. 'Being a cop is fucked up, Nines. Like, the fucked up shit you're going to end up seeing, it's never going to end. And maybe one day you'll think, yeah, this is it! It can't possibly get any shittier than this! But it fucking does, Nines. It always fucking _does_!'

Nines could quote statistics, changes as well. He doesn't. He let Gavin vent. Sometimes, you needed to just let it all out.

'And you deserve better. I just… I know you're some sort of Terminator bot and you could easily kick the shit out of me without even putting an ounce of fucking effort into it, so I appreciate that you don't.' His expression clouded with memory, and he smirked. 'I got that lesson firsthand from Connor, okay, and I know you're supposed to be everything he is and more. I still wish I could just… protect you from all of this. Do whatever I need to, and keep you safe.'

'You do remember, I was built to hunt down and deactivate my own kind. Connor is exemplary as a deviant, but if things had gone as they were mean to, I'd have never been able to… meet you, the way I did.' Connor _was_ exemplary as a deviant. Even if the two of them weren't on speaking terms outside of work, Connor had put that night in the evidence locker behind him, it worked counterintuitive to them being able to get anything done on the job. Connor had forgiven Nines, as well, and Nines hadn't even done any of those terrible things he might have, the ones he'd been programmed to do. 'I'd have permanently deactivated and replaced him, if things had gone differently. I doubt the android uprising would have ended as peacefully, if that had been the case.' He felt… he didn't know. In the moment, did he feel anything at all?

'I _know_ that, Nines,' Gavin admitted bitterly. 'But it doesn't change any of it. I know you're capable. You're fucking _amazing_. And I… you wanted to be my partner. I'm never going to understand.'

'You don't need to understand, simply… accept.'

'Alright, Borg-bot,' Gavin chuckled. It was not a very convincing sounding laugh. 'But that's all fucked up, too.'

'I don't think it is.'

Nines placed his hand over Gavin's. Gavin looked down, and then back up, and Nines was already leaning towards him, their lips coming into contact. It was quiet, it was slow and soft. It was not the needy burst of heat from before, it was… something else entirely.

Gavin drew back, he looked… starstruck, for loss of any other word. His eyes were wide, his lips were still parted. And Nines? He laughed. It was a soft, breathy little thing, and Gavin stared at him like he couldn't connect the dots, but even Nines was already figuring it out – how could an android like Nines was meant to be, have a laugh like that?

'Many of the choices they made in my design and production, in hindsight they seem almost... counter intuitive.'

'Hey, it's just a part of your charm,' Gavin chuckled, and he squeezed Nines's hand. 'Nines… what I said about therapy, I meant it. There are resources available for android officers already, actual android therapists. You should consider taking a look at your option, there are just some things us meatbags are never gonna _get_.'

'Are you saying you'd rather not talk about this anymore?'

'Not at all,' Gavin huffed, and he looked a little…. Sad. 'But I'm just another cop, Nines. I'm not actually certified to deal with that sort of thing, it's why I do the therapy thing too. You… you need someone to talk to about this shit who isn't me.'

'I want to keep you safe, too,' Nines murmured. It felt… like it couldn't be enough. 'You are so much more experienced with all of this. With even being alive. I want to keep you safe, I want… there are so many things I _want_ , and I want to do them with you.'

But Gavin smiled. 'Believe me, Nines, that want thing right there? It goes both ways.'

They were quiet, and Gavin threaded their fingers together. Nines stared down at where their hands were clasped, committed it to memory. Gazed at Gavin, and memorized that, too. The shadow and light playing off of the curves of his face. The strong line of his jaw. He did like looking at Gavin, after all.

And no, it still didn't make any sense.

And yet, Nines still wasn't sure it was supposed to.

'What now?' Nines asked. He knew what he should have suggested, but. They already had taken the rest of their day off. He didn't see the purpose in taking that back.

Gavin shrugged. 'I'm kind of hungry. We could go get something to eat? Just in case you ever get curious, cotton candy doesn't even come close to anything even _resembling_ a healthy, filling meal. Especially when you're a fucking idiot and think eating seven bags of the stuff is a good idea.'

'I somehow believe this anecdote of yours comes from a place of extreme personal experience,' Nines replied.

Gavin giggled and Nines _loved_ it. 'Abso-fucking-lutely.'

'Dinner, then. And afterwards, you can take me home?' Nines was already running a search for a restaurant they could find human and android options at. He didn't eat, but there were plenty of android friendly drinks, most of them thirium based. Some with sugar. Some with alcohol. Some with _both_. None of those combinations would have any sort of detrimental effect on Nines, if Gavin needed him to drive.

And Gavin just stared at him, like he couldn't process what Nines had said. 'Your home, or mine?' Gavin paused, swallowed slowly before he licked his lips. 'I know I could be getting this all wrong, but...' There was longing in his eyes, deep and dark and desperate. And flecks of gold, brightened in the setting sun. 'Your place is tiny and mine is not. Like, I've come out of the closet once already. I really don't feel like doing it again.'

'Ah.' Nines deadpanned. He did actually get that joke, some of Gavin's references made sense without him needing to run some sort of database search. 'A joke that references how I live in an apartment that's no bigger than a walk-in closet. That's very funny, Detective.'

He grinned, but so did Gavin, and he got up close. Real close. 'So funny you forgot to laugh, _Detective_ ,' Gavin murmured, though his line of sight quickly drifted down from Nines's eyes, to his lips.

'I meant yours,' Nines replied softly, hand at the back of Gavin's neck as he tugged him forward for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> *screams and yeets self into void*


End file.
